New Normal

I woke up today with the usual mile long to do list no longer whirling through my mind. Today is the first day I didn’t wake up with plans, is the first day that the new reality has hit me.

Nothing is open.

Nothing is going to be open.

We go from home to work and back home again.

We do not see people.

Everything in the city has been boarded up and most of the boards are now tagged with graffiti.

This is the new normal.

I have not seen toilet paper in the grocery store for a month.

This is the new normal.

I check in with people halfheartedly. I’m not sure if I’m okay or not. I survey my body, I am healthy, That must mean I’m okay, right? Even though I feel my anxiety pumping through my bloodstream, even though the jumps in cases keep me up all night. The repeated, “you could be carrying it and not know.” I try not to look at the customers at work like they could contaminate me. I try to adjust to the fear that has settled in my chest. I try to breathe.

This is the new normal.